Friday, January 27, 2006

Our New Constitution as Seen By The General

Friday, January 27, 2006

The fallback position

It looks like Our Leader's agenda will continue even if French senators suddenly grow a spine and filibuster Judge Alito. I can't tell you who gave me this, but Sen. Frist is ready to introduce these amendments to the Amendments if needed.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law without the expressed approval of the executive or his deputy chief of staff. respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia A confident male citizenry, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people white, Christian men to keep and bear arms of very large caliber with long, hardened, masculine barrels, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier fighting keyboarder shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house required to leave his basement for the purpose of procuring Cheetos, without first receiving from his mother, a sum equivalent to the cost of a single family sized or six "Big Grab" bags the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but with the additional funds equivalent to the cost of a six-pack of Mountain Dew and a package of pepperoni in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures is a pre-9/11 concept that is inoperative for as long as the most patriotic citizens continue to wet their pants at the sight of a brown person. shall not be violated, and nNo warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause the whim of the executive or his deputy chief of staff, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the ideological leanings, degree of browness, or resale value of persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment of browness or or a need to demonstrate success in a war against an intangible quality indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, incidents that may cause embarrassment to the executive or his deputy chief of staff or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war, or public danger, period of fear or in the face of declining poll numbers; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb unless the previous instance of jeopardy resulted in acquittal; nor, unless brown or non-Christian shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor unless brown or non-Christian be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, for purposes other than to build a baseball stadium for the executive without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions of white, Christian males, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense. Should the defendant be brown and Muslim, he has the right to be held indefinitely while being raped with glowsticks as long as the pain to which he is subjected approaches, but is not equivalent to, that which accompanies organ failure.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the plaintiff is a greedy litigious bastard and is therefore granted all of the rights afforded to brown people under Amendment VI. the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted unless such actions will generate ratings for the O'Reilly Factor equivalent to those generated by a missing white woman.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the executive people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the executive exclusively states respectively, or to his deputy chief of staff or Alexander Haigthe people.
posted by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot | 3:15 AM
Reports to the General (14) | The French Respond

Diebold and Mrs. Noe

Ms. Noe's own scandal: Wife of Ohio GOP fundraiser does some election reform of her own

Larisa Alexandrovna

In yet another surreal twist in Ohio’s “coin-gate” scandal, the wife of Bush’s chief Ohio fundraiser, Tom Noe—who is currently embroiled in campaign finance and money laundering probes—surprised poll workers and observers alike by disrupting the ballot count during the 2004 general election, RAW STORY has discovered.

Bernadette Noe, who served dual roles as chairman for the Lucas County Republican Party and the Lucas County Board of Elections, sent twelve “partisans” into a warehouse on Election Day, according a memo authored by Ohio’s Director of Campaign Finance Richard Weghorst who was present at the time.

The assertion is part of a comprehensive investigation prepared for Ohio Republican Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell regarding reports of irregularities in Lucas County. The report found gross failures on the part of Ms. Noe’s board in preparation for and administration of November’s election. (Read the memo in PDF)

The Board was “directly responsible for the inefficient and unorganized election process” in the county, the report said. Weghorst found they had failed to lock and secure ballots and voting machines; manipulated the three percent hand recount; and failed to properly remove Ralph Nader from county ballots.

But perhaps the most striking event directly linked to Ms. Noe was what Weghorst described as “a note-worthy incident relating to security” on the evening of the election.

Weghorst, who was present at a local warehouse where ballots were being tabulated, says in his report that “two groups of partisan volunteers totaling approximately twelve people" arrived, whose "purpose for being there was not immediately known nor requested."

When the volunteers refused to leave the premises, Weghorst called the police, who then escorted the group away from the warehouse. It later emerged they had come at Ms. Noe's request.

A Diebold employee, Robert Diekmann, was also present at the warehouse that night.

Ms. Noe and the machines

Ms. Noe was an advocate of Diebold’s optical scan software as chair of the Lucas County Board of Elections. In April 2004, she and another fellow Republican board member voted to approve a $350,000 contract with Diebold to lease machines for the election. The county was forced the lease the equipment after a deadlock and a rebuke from Blackwell.

"It's going to cost us more than we thought it would, but it's going to be a fair election,” Ms. Noe said at the time. “I am confident with the system we will have with Diebold.”

“Every vote is going to get counted, and it is going to be an efficient election,” she added.

The contract was no-bid. After Democrats on the board revealed a cheaper bid from another company, the Lucas County board was forced to open the contract for bidding, over Ms. Noe’s objections.

The contract was eventually awarded to Diebold.

Diebold has faced scrutiny in Ohio, particularly after comments by the firm’s chief executive in 2003 to Ohio Republicans in which he declared he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."

One Ohio election official recently admitted a Diebold lobbyist offered him $10,000 in an effort to woo the county to purchase Diebold machines, which he diverted to the local Republican Party.

Additional allegations against Ms. Noe

Reminiscent of an account reported on by RAW STORY regarding ballot tampering in Clermont County, Ohio, Ms. Noe was involved in an incident through which Republican volunteers were brought in to “assist” processing returned voter confirmation postcards. On her authority and that of several other board members, partisan volunteers were allowed to copy the returned cards.

They were subsequently caught by a Lucas County Democratic official peeling the return stickers off the voter confirmation cards, and were told to leave. Weghorst’s inquiry found no evidence they had been supervised.

The investigator's report was submitted in April 2005.

Bernadette Noe resigned from the Lucas County Republican Party and from her position as head of the Board of Elections in December, saying she wanted to spend more time with her family.

In April, the Toledo Blade reported Ms. Noe acted improperly as chairman of the Lucas County Republican Party in accepting $65,000 in loans for the party from her husband. She is also involved in a scandal surrounding an aide to Ohio governor Bob Taft (R) staying for a reduced rate at her vacation home.

Bernadette Noe is married to the now-infamous Tom Noe, who invested millions of dollars of state funds into rare coins and who is currently the target of a wide-ranging inquiry. Noe, a Bush Pioneer, also allegedly laundered money into President Bush’s reelection campaign by paying others to donate.

Tom Noe, the owner of several shady business ventures, including Vintage Coins and Collectibles, funneled an estimated fifty million dollars into his own personal and business accounts as well as to the state’s GOP candidates. Noe’s rare coin venture came at the expense of The Ohio Bureau of Workers' Compensation, for whom he acted as the sole fund manager.

The Noe coin scandal has widened to include investigations into Taft as well as other GOP candidates from across the state, including several Ohio Supreme Court justices.

Rep. John Conyers (D–MI) is expected to ask the Justice Department to appoint a special counsel today.

"The facts that have come out indicate a culture of corruption in the Ohio Republican Party," Conyers in a statement to RAW STORY. "An investigation such as this, which is rife with conflicts of interest, begs for the appointment of an independent prosecutor who would be immune from the partisan gamesmanship we have seen so far."

Conyers’ letter to the Justice Department is available here.

For additional reading on the ongoing investigation, see the following references:

Special Counsel sought in Noe case
Taft stays mum
Noe Transfers $3.8 Million to his own firm
Rare Coin Fund spurs calls to revise Ohio law

Raw Story